You are a software engineer with a wife and two young children. Your coworker “Evan” has invited you out for beers at The Faultline after work. The last two times you had to take a raincheck. This evening might actually work, except you’re supposed to get home early to play with the kids before bedtime.
Do you:
- A) tell Evan that you can’t make it this week, but next week for sure
- B) apologize to your family and promise to make up for it with extra play time at this weekend, cross your heart and hope to die
- C) growl, “You kids gotta learn about the cold cruel world sometime!” and slam the door on the way out
Hint: there is a right answer!
B, because there’ll be many, many times to play with the kids (perhaps even including tomorrow), and he’s already turned down the friend time twice already… unless next week is actually for certain, in which case A is fine.
A very sensible answer. But I was thinking more along the lines of C), with extra credit given for, “Daddy’s going to go tie one on! Don’t wait up!”
D) leave the family behind in Denver, so they don’t know/care when you get beers with Evan
What happens in Sunnyvale stays in Sunnyvale.
I felt like I ‘should’ say A, and perhaps I ‘could’ say B. But what I really want to say is C, on the theory that one can never begin too early teaching kids that the world does not revolve around them, that sound relationships are not built on sacrifice and guilt, and that having a life is important to everyone’s general tone.
But C only works if you actually like your kids, do spend a lot of time with them, and give them no reason to doubt that they’re among the top priorities in your life. And since some part of that is pretty generally not true, I had some trouble just popping for C.
Oh, and then not to be a complete downer, but C can’t be an excuse to turn wife/hubby into your personal on-staff babysitter whenever you feel like it. Which also happens way too much to just pop for C.
All in all, my answer is:
E.) Don’t have kids, get your tubes tied, enjoy sex more and go have beers whenever you want.
| But what I really want to say is C, on the theory that one can never begin too early teaching kids that the world does not revolve around them, that sound relationships are not built on sacrifice and guilt, and that having a life is important to everyone’s general tone.
For some strange reason that reminds me of Calvin’s dad:
http://www.s-anand.net/blog/calvin-and-hobbes-dad-explains-science/
Calvin asks his dad a question about how the world works, Calvin’s dad responds with BS, Calvin asks a perfectly reasonable follow-up question, Calvin’s dad increases the BS level, rinse, repeat. If you’re going to teach your kids *anything* useful early on, it should be that Adults Lie. A lot.
Clearly, D – bring the kids to the bar.
And with that, Dave cuts the Gordian Knot! Parent of the Year!
Hi Evan,
I have never been here before, don’t live in California, but strangely your site came up as a site I visited before through Alexa.com. Or I should say…according to Alexa.com
HMMMM, so I thought I would check out what site I visited in my sleep. I defitely got a good chuckle from your “About” section and thought I would make a comment somewhere.
As for your poll here. I have to vote for “C” and that is because I could say that out loud in my living room and much worse and I will offend no one. I don’t have kids or a husband…hehehe. Go have a beer, you probably deserve it!
As a software professional and mother of a young child…
Carl is right about option C really being more about the way said father treats his wife. If the wife is a stay-at-home mom, then she probably needs some non-kid time at the end of the day. If she works outside the house, then she probably had plans to do something with her evening while her husband is playing with the kids.
Option A is OK sometimes, option B is OK sometimes, as long as there is moderation.
How about option D: go for a drink after the kids are down for night. It has the added benefit of letting everyone have dinner at home first instead of eating too many hot wings at the bar.
Well, considering the two previous rainchecks, I’d go with B, C, A in that order.