Sim Subs: a Play In One Act

Today’s question about the SF publishing industry is:
Why do publishers disallow simultaneous submissions?

Any author or book on writing will say the same thing: don’t do it.
If you get caught doing it, you’re in trouble. But the question remains,
why?

Other than “we’re the publishers and we say so,” the only reason I’ve read
comes from SFWA, in their
FAQ for
Beginning Writers
(scroll down to the middle of the page):

Q: What is wrong with simultaneous submissions? Why can’t I send out my manuscript
to all the markets at once, and save years of waiting time?

A: Some markets allow simultaneous submissions. The Literary Market Place and The
Writer’s Market tell you which markets these are. Other markets do not want
simultaneous submissions. Why? Because too many of them have been burned by authors
who, on being told that their story was accepted and had been put to press, informed
the editors that, “Oh, I sent that to another magazine and it paid more money so I let
them publish it first.” More than one magazine has found itself in the position of
having to redo its entire layout, at considerable expense, because of such a situation…

After reading this, I actually went back and studied the SFWA acronym.
“Science-Fiction-and-Fantasy-Writers-of-America”. Yup.
Still says “Writers”.
I keep rereading the explanation and it still baffles me. Hmmmm…
perhaps we can elicit the Truth by transforming the narrative…


PREMATURE PUBLICATION: A PLAY IN ONE ACT

Editor: Tra-la-la-la-la… Say, what do we have here in the slush pile?
(he fishes a manuscript out of the pile) Why… it’s a story!
I like this one! Yes… it’s perfect for this month’s issue!
Minions! (claps hands) Start the presses, post-haste!

Graphic
Designer: Aye aye, sir!

Layout
Editor: Full speed ahead!

All three
together: Huzzah!

Author: (pokes head in the door) Ummm… ‘scuse me… but I ah… ummm…
actually, your competitor down the street secured the rights to my
story over a month ago. Terribly sorry about that.

Editor: Whaaat! Minions! (claps hands) Pelt this miscreant, this tramp,
with crumpled Coke cans. And blacklist her, post-haste!

Author: Aie, curse my impatience! I am undone! (retreats under the barrage)

Editor: Well, the only thing left to do now is to redo our entire layout,
at considerable expense, because of this situation.

(All three burst into tears)

THE END

Well, perhaps that didn’t help quite as much as I had hoped.

Anyway, the point is: how the heck
does a submission equate to signing a contract
?
I mean it’s one thing if the editor secures publication rights and
then the author tries to renege “because they got a better offer”.
But that’s not what’s happening here. The author hasn’t agreed to
anything yet.

Frankly, the more I read the FAQ the angrier I get. The sad revelation
of all those poor editors getting burned has to be just outright false. What
idiot is going to lay out his magazine based on manuscripts that
he hasn’t bothered to acquire yet? The other possibility is that the poor editors
really were criminally stupid. Either way, the whole thing stinks.

One more thing: notice how the long lead times are a direct result of
the no simultaneous submissions rule. If simultaneous submissions were permitted,
then any magazine that could read its slush pile faster would have a significant
advantage, because they could snap up good stories from unknowns long before
their slower competitors. Competition would force lead times to shrink dramatically.

Competition? Publishing? Bah, I live in a dream-world.