Dana Whitaker: I don’t think you’re cute. I don’t think you’re funny. I don’t think you’re smart. And sometimes… I don’t think you’re very nice.
Casey McCall [anguished]: You don’t think I’m funny?
It has recently come to my attention that there is an alarming shortage of technical writer jokes. Lord knows there’s plenty of engineer jokes and programmer jokes. It’s easy to find physics jokes. Yahoo has an entire category devoted just to silly chemistry songs (including Tom Lehrer’s 1959 opus, The Elements). There are firefighter jokes. Plumber jokes. Social worker jokes. Need accountant jokes? I got your accountant jokes right here. Want actuary jokes? Head on over to actuarialjokes.com.
But there are precious few technical writer jokes. After exhaustive research on the subject,1 I only found a handful:
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The ubiquitous Dr. Seuss As A Technical Writer poem. Cute!
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A fairly lame technical writer lightbulb joke. Then again, I’ve never really cared for lightbulb jokes,2 so I’m probably not the best judge.
- Klingon Technical Writers. (Example: “Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!“) This one would have been promising, except it’s really just a cheap knockoff of an earlier Klingon Programmers joke.
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My own humble contribution to the field, composed during a rather tedious experience making review copies. (Is there any other kind?)
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And of course we can’t forget Tina the Brittle Tech Writer!
In short, the jokes are not exactly thick on the ground. So are we technical writers just not funny? My colleague at work disagrees. “I think everyone just knows that we are simply Not To Be Made Fun Of.”3 Well, that makes me feel better. In any case, if you have any more technical writer jokes, please feel free to send them my way. I’m not exactly going to rush out and register “techwriterjokes.com”, but it’d be nice to see some evidence that there’s more out there. We can at least beat the accountants, for crying out loud.
1. I.e. a cursory Google search.
2. Except for this one. Q: How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but it has to really want to change. Hee hee!
3. Note the skillful closure of the sentence with a preposition. This dangerous grammatical construction is for trained professionals only. Laypersons, do not attempt this at home.
Well looks who’s so high and mighty, wants his own joke library. You need TIME to build up a proper joke base for your ilk. Accountants have been around since cuneiform, can’t expect a wet-behind-the-ears profession like technical writting to compete with that.
The main problem is tech writers are a bit low profile for general public ridicule. You need to start a grass roots campaign of public awareness before the rest of use will deign to degrade your profession. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help, old buddy 🙂
Sam
Sam, when it comes to generating public ridicule, no man is your equal. Glad to have you on board.
I must chide you for failing to use gender neutral terminology in your response to Sam. Your response *should* have read: “Sam, when it comes to generating public ridicule, no PERSON is your equal.” I am disappointed in you. Nonfiction writers are supposed to be sensitive to these nuances of language–unless, of course, you are implying that women are not equally capable of generating public ridicule, a belief that I would challenge in the name of equality for my sex.
— Mom
(the medical writer)
P.S. Any medical writer jokes?
Whew. Glad no one makes fun of my profession.
“…a belief that I would challenge in the name of equality for my sex.”
Hmmm. I guess it only makes sense that if *I* dare to use a prefeminist construction, *you* get to chastise me for it with language from 1912.
Ok. I can feel a need here. I’ll give it a try…
How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. See Figure 1-2A.
What did the technical writer say when s/he walked into a bar? “So THIS is what the real world looks like!”
What do technical writers do for fun? Add steps.
Bumper sticker: “Technical writers do it step by step.”
How can you tell when a tech writer is in need of a break? When the Star Trek Convention is about to start.
What’s the difference between a tech writer and member of legislature? Members of legislature are elected and write incomprehensible nonsense.
Tech write elect to write incomprehensible nonsense.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
A Tech Writer.
A Tech Writer who?
If you have further questions, check our website http://www.youshouldfigureitoutyourself.com for our FAQ or call 1-800-555-WAIT to speak with one of our customer service representatives who will be happy to hide behind a impenetrable wall of telephonic menus and circular directories.
Whew. That was like sqeezing blood from a rock. (Or squeezing sense from a manual).
I hope my efforts are appreciated. I did it all for you Evan.
I realize my jokes are all the cliched styles, but that was the best I could do on short notice.
The strange thing is that I kinda like the lightbulb joke.