Earlier this week, M’ris called me at work to let me know that there was a glitch with the big group dinner she had planned at La Bodeguita del Medio. They couldn’t take reservations for a party our size. “Oh…” I said. And then the little platters in my brain started spinning…
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“No, no,” said Marissa, breaking my concentration. “I’ve found another restaurant that can seat all of us.” Later on at the dinner she told me (paraphrasing), “Even though you hadn’t said anything yet, I could tell you you were going into Helpful Bay Area Mode, and I had to stop you.”
I had always thought that the spinal reflex to leap in and start solving problems (even the ones that don’t necessarily need solving) was more of a engineering thing, or maybe just a plain old male thing. But it could be a Bay Area thing as well. It’s hard for me to see my own culture clearly, since I’ve been marinating in it for thirty years.
Coincidentally, that same night I caught the end of a roundtable discussion on the radio about the valley and solar power companies. The moderator was John Doerr, the panel included folks like T.J. Rodgers and other such big cheeses. And as you might expect, it was a virtuoso performance of valley optimism. Green power is coming! This is the first time we’ve built a new world energy infrastructure in the last 100 years! And when it comes to designing and deploying this new infrastructure, we are gonna make shitloads of money and save the planet and totally kick Europe and China’s ass in this new trillion dollar market! But if for some almost inconceivable reason they beat us, the whole world wins anyway, so let the games begin!
It was pretty awesome. So we’re gonna tech our way out of this mess. Build absurdly cheap and efficient solar panels. Reconfigure the Main Deflector Dish.
The thing about the Bay Area is that we are not only selected for efficient transmission of this virus, but we are also selected for lack of immunity. For a moment even I started thinking, yes! Of course! The World of Tomorrow will be all about this stuff! I will quit my current job right this second and join a solar power startup! And … spend seventy-five hours a week documenting silicon processing and manufacturing techniques. Hmmm. The moment passed.
But still, I couldn’t help smiling on my way home from the restaurant in my 30 MPG carbon-spewing vehicle. Being helpful. This is the Way of my People.
I had always thought that the spinal reflex to leap in and start solving problems (even the ones that don’t necessarily need solving) was more of a engineering thing, or maybe just a plain old male thing. But it could be a Bay Area thing as well. It’s hard for me to see my own culture clearly, since I’ve been marinating in it for thirty years.
Naw, it is just genetic. Or maybe an oldest child thing?
One of the stereotypical complaints that women make about men is that when you tell them a problem you just want them to listen, but they are always trying to solve the problem for you. I don’t think it is a boy thing. I have the same malfunction. I’m trying to learn not to make suggestions and give advice, but its hard to still my tounge and just look sympathetic.
Heck, if I share a problem with you, it is because I think you might be able to help and I want that advice, suggestion, or even muscle application.
Problems are to be solved or fixed. Immediately, efficiently. And I have lots of skills and knowledge to fix things with.
I think it is a close relative of the control-freak gene. And it leads to rampant ‘volunteerism’ where I end up doing a lot of highly skilled work and applying leadership skills to big projects for free all the time.
Very pleased to hear about any real positive motion towards alternative sustainable power. Go California!
Oh, no, I didn’t mean to imply that it was a Bay Area trait at all. Just that your helpfulness (oldest child, engineer-brain, whatever) trait hinged on living there in this case.
Lillith — exactly. Actually, I can assure you that all those traits are strong on *both* sides of the family, which could be one of the reasons why we ended up here.
M’ris — ah, got it. You know, now that I think about it, I doubt it’s an older child thing, since I spent much of my childhood trying to avoid being helpful. Or rather, I spent it finding the fine line between doing the absolute minimum possible and getting in trouble.
I just want to say: Mmmmm, La Bodeguita del Medio.
Given that you didn’t get to go with this group, clearly you need to come have dinner with me there some time. (Your mojito is better than theirs, but theirs ain’t bad. Though of course, if you’re going for a drink, Cascal is better than Bodeguita…)